President Bush launches major environmental initiative

The scientific evidence, of course, has been mounting steadily and dismally for years now. The planet is suffering through an anthropogenic warming due to our sprialling CO2 emissions.

As scientists have accumulated and corroborated the evidence over these past decades, public realization of the crisis has trailed slowly behind, stunted by a consumption-based media system, a calcified auto industry, our own determined ignorance and denial, and bipartisan political timidity.

Scientists, progressive-minded voters, and their representatives have made strides in bringing the debate to cloture and moving on to action.  Vice President Gore, on the heels of the unprecedented 2005 hurricane season, pushed public demands for remediation over the top with his documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth".

Today, finally, the White House unveiled an environmental policy equal to our daunting task.

The White House logo has been painted forest green.

http://www.asia.reuters.com/...

The logo used to be black, more befittingly.  Here's an example of it, in front of which Humpty McDumpty once held sway over the press corps.

http://images.salon.com/...

Lest anyone think for a moment that forest green is the only can of paint they had in the White House garage, keep in mind, this is the team that brought you "Mission Accomplished" and the the massive CentCom press facility in Doha, Qatar (here, we see Gen. Vincent Brooks' multimedia presentation of the staged rescue of Pvt. Jessica Lynch).

What we have seen culminated today was an almost year-long, $8 million dollar renovation of a windowless space the size of a first-grade classroom.  Our intrepid White House correspondents (and, Oh! were they intrepid this morning?...) will be able to leverage state-of-the-art uplinking capability for all this effort.

But the only image that matters (God knows the questions don't matter) is the daily White House pronouncement.  And that image -- seen every day by the American people when Tony Snow, assorted Cabinet riff-raff, and Shrubby himself take the podium -- will show the face of the Bush administration against a palate of green.

I am confident this paint job will be the lasting environmental initiative of the Bush Administration.  Today, we herald an act of singular executive vision: the Leni Riefenstahl Memorial Press Room Greenwash of 2007.  Press Corps, drop and give me twenty!